im guessing this is intentional?

Quite the opposite. I wanted to make them work with fluid wagons too.
The reason is already explained on mod main page, under known issues:

Fluid wagon connector of overtier pumps do not work. It seems the fluid wagon detection and connection is somehow hard-coded in vanilla pump, I cannot get it working on overtier pumps. But since fluid wagon has quite small capacity, while vanilla pump is already very fast to load empty wagon / unload full wagon (just merely a few seconds), so I do not feel much need to fix it. Simply use vanilla pump to handle fluid wagons.

But of course, if you or anyone know a way to fix this, please let me know.

any chance we could get https://mods.factorio.com/mod/PumpAnywhere patch?

Are you sure it is relevant?
From the mod description, it seems to be dealing with "offshore pumps*: adjusting collision mask in allowing them to be placed on land tiles. It is neither about the "pump" (different entity) nor dealing with fluid wagons.

thanks for responding, maybe not to trains, but i got the mod and assumed it would work on your scaled pumps. it did not.