Thanks for writing these up properly. One of them already exists, and I'll be straight with you about the other.
The idling one is covered. Open the platform's hub → Fleet tab → Allowed destinations, and untick any planet you don't want that ship near. It'll never be routed there, which also means it'll never idle there - a ship only ever comes to rest at a planet it was sent to. It's per-ship, so your armed ships can keep the full run while the fragile ones stay on the safe legs.
The export one you've diagnosed right. The mod deliberately doesn't invent its own logistics - it rides on the game's. Vanilla rockets do the launching, vanilla landing pad requests do the pulling, and to work out what a planet can spare it reads the game's own logistic network. That's the whole design, and it's why there's no good answer here without bots: if the network can't see your stock, neither can the mod.
The workaround is small, though. One roboport and a passive provider chest holding whatever you want to export. The rest of the planet can stay belts and trains - you only need coverage over those chests, not your factory. Plain steel chests won't do it; they aren't part of the network.
If you've got a planet where roboports genuinely aren't possible rather than just not built yet, tell me which one and I'll take another look.