could there be an option to have the wooden poles be ignored compared to the metal ones or attract less aggression, like what this mod did? https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Biter_Hates_Concrete , similar to 0.16 where the bitters do not target the big wooden poles unless they are in their way.

Not sure that would work: Concrete (ground tiles) is different to entities like a wooden pole. To make biters not attack the pole, these would have to belong to another force neutral to the biters. But if the poles don't belong to a player, you wouldn't see them highlighted in map view when the electric-grid overlay is active. So, your poles wouldn't be destroyed, but you wouldn't get to see the power connections.

I've done that already for the Musk floor, but that's a different matter because the big blob of a lot of hidden poles just one tile apart from each other would look too dominant in map view.

How about placing wooden flooring under the big wooden floors and place the conditions under that entity instead; increasing the wood requirement. a different wooden base that is only included with the big pole? and gets destroyed along with it when bitters passby and makes an attack? less frequency.