rather than checking for exactly "small-electric-pole" when determining if added poles need to be placed to connect between rows, you could check of any pole with that string as part of its name. this would make it work with mods like lighted electric poles' "lighted-small-electric-pole".

for my own use, i changed the statement used from:
if entity.place_only_with_small_poles and state.conf.pole_name ~= "small-electric-pole"

to:
if entity.place_only_with_small_poles and (not string.find(state.conf.pole_name, "small-electric-pole",0, true))

not sure if this solution is robust enough for public release, but it would be nice if something similar was considered.